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Langidrik(1) (Sea, North of Agim(2), Easternmost Port) </b>

"You've got to be kidding me," A pair of hands fell roughly against the banister, gripping the soaked wood as the vessel rocked side-to-side among the waves, "You have got to be kidding me." The man repeated, losing his footing for a moment before crashing down, in tumble of limbs and leather, and strands of unkempt hair onto the deck below, "It's been raining for two days now." Said man got straight back up, untangled every limb, pushed messy locks away from hazy eyes, and stared, angrily, out at the sea around him.

"Two damn f*cking days," he repeated, as the waves crashed up onto the deck, swaying the poor vessel so violently he almost lost traction, "If you didn't goddammit want me to go fishing today then why didn't you start pissin' when I started out?" He shouted towards the sky with a raised fist, before lowering it and sighing.

"But what good'll that do?" He laughed a moment later, turning away, and nearly slipping again, "Not like the weather's gonna clear up cuz I said so." He paused, looked to the sky, then sighed again, "Yeah, who the f*ck am I kidding? Not going to happen. Not going to happen in--" A strong gust of wind whistled through the sails, picking up his hat--a simple, straw hat that one could find on the heads of many in town--and tossing it out into the waves--

"And it stole my f*cking hat." he exhaled, watching said hat float violently on the waves for a few minutes, before drifting under, and disappearing from view, "Isn't that just great? And I thought I could just keep the top of my head dry." he bemoaned again, closing his eyes against the pelting rain as another gust of wind turned it to salty bullets and sprayed it against his skin.

A bellow of thunder quickly followed the intensifying rain, and the man quickly ducked into the swinging door of the cabin, not bothering to even close it, and watched the rain continuously pelt the deck.

"What'm I gonna do," he moaned again, beating his head lightly against the doorframe, ignoring the creak of the old wood, and the way the rusted hinges seemed dangerously close to just popping off at every small movement, "I'm gonna be damn hungry if I don't catch anything." He paused that thought, and sighed again, "Not to mention I'm dirt poor."

Because the truth of the matter, whether the man wanted to admit it or not, was just that. The reason he was out here was for food, nothing else. For food to put on his table, because nothing else would. No one else would. He didn't expect it, because if he did then he would be disappointed when it didn't happen next.

His stomach growled loudly in protest, "Shut the damn up," he patted his bare stomach--having cast his sopping shirt aside to float away into the sea some time ago--"I'll get some food in you, just be patient. The rain has to let up soon, right?" He stared back out at the rain, like bullets, pelting dangerously against the wood, almost as if--"If it doesn't destroy my ship in the process." he deflated with another growl from his stomach.

No, the rain wouldn't let up. He could tell. The clouds weren't going to stop, and the wind wasn't going to be nice and blow them somewhere else for a change.

"It's my fault anyway," he grumbled, leaning his head, this time gently, against the doorframe, "I decided to come out here. I shoulda seen the clouds." But he didn't, and he knew it, 'Because there weren't any.' He added silently to himself, exhaling.

His stomach growled again.

"Goddammit." He patted it again, only to have it growl steadily, like the thunder overhead, "Fine then," he pushed himself up off the floor with his free hand, and stumbled back out onto the deck, into the pelting bullets of salty rain, and salty waves. He reached the far side, where a tangle of nets lay in a heap, drenched with salt water, and tied down tightly.

"All I gotta do is untie this and throw it over," he grumbled, reaching down for the first secured tie--only to have the boat, rock, once more, violently to the side--

"Oh sh--" he caught himself at the last moment--wincing as one hand caught all his weight, and the old railing creaked disturbingly beneath his grip, "Oh shi--" he tried to right himself once more, only to have the boat rock again, this time with so much force--his hand didn't do any good--


A painful crack, and the old railing shattered, causing him to fall into the frothy violent waves below.

'Oh for the love of,' He tried to surface, gasping for air, only to have salt water take it's place in an instant. 'You've got to be kidding me,' He tried to surface once more, and only just managed to hack most of the water out, before another wave pulled him under, 'I gotta get that damned boat fixed now! I don't have the money for that!' He squeezed his eyes shut against the burning salt and surfaced once more--glancing around quickly to see how far he was from the ship.

Not too far, he could make it still--if the waves didn't pull him under again. If he didn't get caught in a violent current, 'I'll just have to try it.' He took another gasping breath--and one stroke forward--

only to stop, when a black object caught his eyes, somewhere to the left, floating on the seas surface towards him, 'What's...?' he never had his question finished, as another wave violently swept him under, tossing him beneath the waves until his lungs burned--then spat him back up to the drenching surface, and the salty, damp air.

'What's--' He tried again, turning his head to try and search for the black object, 'Nothing should be--' he gasped for breath, 'floating out in the middle of the--' another gasp, 'Ocean like that. 'Specially here.'  But he couldn't find it, no matter how hard he looked, the black object had probably sunk beneath the violent waves and--

'Goddammit, I'm farther away now,' And he was, his ship was bobbing dangerously on the surface, but it hadn't gone under yet. Not yet, 'It better not. Don't want the damn Marine's to yell at me again.' No. Littering.

If a ship was sunk it must be retrieved, repaired, then used again. No exceptions.

'But if I die an' the boat sinks then I won't get the blame,' The thought came just as quickly as it fled, 'Like I wanna die now anyway,' He looked up at the sky, 'Why'd I want to? I'm damn hungry.' A violent string of thunder lit up the sky, followed by a bellow of unsettling thunder, ''Hope I don't get electrocuted either.' It was a bemused thought this time, 'That'd be a horrible way to go.'

"Almost," he gasped for breath again, "Laughable." he let out a watery chuckle, taking another well earned gasp, before the sea pulled him under once more, tossing him, once more, until it spit him back out.

Again, even further away.

'Some luck I'm having.' He thrust his arms forward in a mock dive as another wave came up, 'But I gotta get back.' His stomach growled but went ignored amongst the crashing waves, and roars of thunder, 'No use bein' in my profession without a damn boat, dirt poor, and no food to call 'm own.'

He dived once more as another wave came up, and kicked ferociously against it, even though it threatened to pull him under, like the rest. He succeeded, but barely--coming up for air in gasping pants, and the realization that his ship wasn't getting any closer, 'Dammit--'

He knew this wasn't good, simply because, well, it wasn't. His hands balled into fists before straightening out. He made to dive again when yet another thing caught his eye. Not black this time but--

Very, very flesh colored, and sinking very much like a human probably would.

Like a human probably would.

'You've got to be kidding me.' He paused his movement for a moment and stared, unblinkingly, at the form slowly sinking below the waves, back facing up--unusually--'You've got to be kidding me,' the thought repeated itself as his motion jump-started. With another gasp he dived again, this time not towards his ship, but towards the person sinking slowly--slowly--

''You're kidding me right?' He's legs pushed as best they could against the current, 'right? You've got to be, right?' the water stung his eyes but he kept them open, pushing away the seaweed that threatened to tangle in his hands, around his legs, in his hair and block his view--'A drowning person? Forget a piece of trash--

A HUMAN?


His lungs began to burn as his fingers reached out and latched onto the back of the human's--a boys, maybe?--shirt, and tugged. The motion sent a jolt of pain up one arm--the same arm that had caught his fall earlier. But that didn't stop him.

'A human out here? Out here? Where the hell did a human come from?' He kicked and pushed the body above him, thankful for the fact that, with the waters help, the body was easy to move. Incredibly light.

He surfaced a moment later, burning lungs and limbs and all--with a gasping breath, tilting the face of the human towards the sky--the pelting rain with another--another thought--

'You've got to be kidding me.'

Because. Because--not only had he just saved someone. But his ship was now  closer. Dangerously closer, like the waves had carried it. Not that they would have, in fact, he had probably swum towards it when grabbing the body. It was perfectly logical, right? Of course it was.

'Of course it is,' he panted, keeping the body's face upright, holding it next to him as his legs pushed off again, against the current, through the rain, and thunder, and frothy waves, towards the ship that continued to rock precariously back and forth amongst the waves.

But it didn't sink, and he didn't drown, and for that he had to be grateful.

'Maybe my luck doesn't righteously suck after all.' He couldn't help but smile as he dragged the boy painfully up onto the deck--due in part to the waves, and the ship's constant dipping, which could only be called gracious now despite it all--and towards the cabin, through the door with rusted hinges, and onto the mattress.

He had just saved a life. Now--he had to figure out what to do with it.
PLEASE COMMENT PLEASE COMMENT PLEASE COMMENT!

warning: Mild language (but it's bleeped out...sorta) EDIT: Since so many people keep asking/pointing this out: Lind really DOES say f asterisk ck. That's why it's bleeped out (it becomes a running gag later on. Or it WILL be one)

Also posted here: [link]

A picture of the island: [link] (also the preview art)

Updated Map: [link] *added Ocean name's, and a few town name's/landmarks*

(1)-Langidrik: Means "small storm". this sea stretches from the tip of the main island to the Eastern most edge. It's not particularly big, but it is known for it's sudden storms that appear out of nowhere. It's the southern Border to the Menuha Straight (on the map--the area of light colored water that surrounds the smaller two islands) -Menuha means "calm"-

(2)-Agim means "dawn" a playoff the fact that it is the Easternmost port (sun rises in the East and sets in the West) it's also the southernmost point, but isn't considered so (for whatever reason). it's located on the Agim peninsula (which--on the map--stretches to the first man-made river -which stretches from coast to Coast- )

But anyway...this is a PREVIEW/May be Chapter One (if people like it enough) of the story I plan on writing with the details mentioned on the "Island" link.

and it's my first uploaded written piece (ORIGINAL written piece I might add) on this account in a while...thus...

PLEASE COMMENT PLEASE COMMENT PLEASE COMMENT!

(especially if you want me to continue)

Character's so far:

Lind Beck: Main character (bio may be in a journal if I feel like it)

Iezzi: the drowning boy (bio may be in a journal if I feel like it)

I OWN EVERYTHING (except maybe the shape of the island) DO NOT USE WITHOUT PRIOR PERMISSION!

(Also...air conditioning. NO AIR CONDITIONING. It's so hot x.x but it's oddly inspiring...I have no clue why o.o

EDIT:

A preview to Lofquist's POV: [link]
A preview to Iezzi's POV: (coming soon)
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:iconsilenthunters:
SIlentHunters Featured By Owner Jun 5, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
Awesome. Really amazing writing right here. I like your character Lind, really clever and creative on your part and the cursing really adds to him. The plot? Really interesting so far and I saw the map too. You should definitely continue writing this. I'll be waiting...
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:iconbouzu-hiso:
Bouzu-Hiso Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Lind's like... "HUMAN?! DO WANT!!" :D It's not a secret I like stories about sailing, so I think I'll like this one as well OWO
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:iconharmony283:
Harmony283 Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
-laughs- Oh gosh...everyone keeps pointing out my use of 'human' instead of person -laughs- I feel a gag-ish fanart piece coming on XD

But I'm glad you like it so far~~ (and yes there will be...lots of sailing. Oh yes -nod, nod- I need to look up a bunch of stuff ON sailing...but it shouldn't be too hard -considering she can legally sail a boat and all- I-I really should remember what they taught me about it...right? >_> -cough-)
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:iconbouzu-hiso:
Bouzu-Hiso Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2009  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hmm... maybe because it still feels a little unreal to Lind?

Well... every good author and artist needs to look up stuff OwO
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:iconharmony283:
Harmony283 Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
THAT'S part of what I was going for (because I mean, Lind is supposed to be hungry, and tired from having to make his ship not sink...) but it's also to avoid using a gender right from the get go (though if you've read Iezzi's POV then you already know who it is XD)

Yeah...though you'd be surprised how many people just do the flip off (like one person didn't even care to use the correct kind of Portuguese for one character -who really IS Portuguese, as in, from Portugal. That's a bit irritating...)
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:iconneorinku:
NeoRinku Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
OMG LINE- *smacks self* LIND! is Daaaa bomb XD
His cursing and "Whatskeburt?" XD

Really, I thought it would be too much PH or One piece but you proved me wrong. he's a very cute character which I will probably get attached to ( Like Fae and Aditya XD)

I do wonder how it will be when...*forgot name and looks at notes again* Iezzi (..right? XD)wakes up.
All wet on a boat... *nosebleeds* no no no fonny! no more shota pairings! D:....wait..how old is he anyway?
Ah..I'll probably get info about him soon enough!

..*trailed off from purpose of saying: GOOD JOB!*
sO : good job 8D! XD
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:iconharmony283:
Harmony283 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
-laughs- now, now catch yourself~~ and yes Whatskeburt XD -made a mental note, oh yes-

XD yay~ Well I didn't want to make him like Luffy (or whatever) -that series started to bore her really fast- and I didn't wanna make him too much like Linebeck so...I'm glad I succeeded XD

Yup it's Iezzi. he'll (hopefully) wake up soon ^^
And you already know his age XD NO JAILBAIT FOR YOU -cough-yet-cough-

But I'm glad you liked it~:hug:
-wonders what your siggy means now- XD
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:iconreveredmage:
ReveredMage Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2009
SO I FINALLY READ IT. -sticks tongue out at you-

asdfjkl; And I don't even know what to say. XD It was good, alrighty?~ You have no~thin~g~ to worry about~

JUST HURRY UP AND SPAM ME WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER. SO I CAN HAVE MORE TO SAY. -totally not abusing the caps locks-

And your guy -shakes head- Has issues with his boat~ IT'S THE RUN AWAY BOAT. -cough- You know what I mean~ In this "Enlgish mass" that I produce~

Now one more thing to check off on my list of stuff to make ""Mandeh smile"~ XD
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:iconharmony283:
Harmony283 Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
YES YOU DID. YAY :boogie: :glomp:

-laughs- Well I'm glad you think so~ (even if it's just a preview. Thus meaning yush I'm re-writing it) Though I DO also have...a Lofquist Blurb (I can only imagine 1st person with him--when he's introduced. Hum) if you wanna read that?

No, of course not, capital letters just like you today XD

YES the run away boat! Poor Lind XD He has no luck, oh no, no, noooooo


Yay -smile, happy joy-joy tackle-glompe here- (they need to make a tackleglomp emoticon or something XD)
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:iconlunahara:
LunaHara Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2009
The story seems good so far, though I can't say I'm much interested at the minute. Definetly has potential though, so I'll keep reading, just to see what happens to the duo...!

Also, for some reason my head keeps trying to cast the captain/Lind Beck (homage to someone...? ^_^) as Australian. It gets annoying when about half way through I am telling my head to read his thoughts/speech without an accent, which it promptly ignores... Damn brain...!
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:iconharmony283:
Harmony283 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Well again it's just a preview so I'm still working on it XD (And...it's not...not easy ^^; I reallllly dislike 3rd person. As in. Severely so. So yeah. On my 4th try trying to rewrite the beginning of this -laughs-)

Aha really? (neh, I found the name first and liked the name meaning -pulled a very rare blonde moment, yes, but it WAS late, and that's her only excuse- So I realized it afterward XD But it does sound like Linebeck. He doesn't act a thing like 'im though) Australian, eh? Hmm, the only character I picture with an accent is Iezzi (who you'll hear speaking later) and it's Italian, but that's more of where his name comes from.

-thinks about it- -re-reads-...why...why does he seem Australian now?! XD -laughs. just. laughs- I have to wonder though, does he look Australian? (I have a crappily drawn pic of him linked in my journal. You tell me what you think XD)
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:iconlunahara:
LunaHara Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2009
Keep going with it! For a preview, it isn't so bad. Maybe cut down on the goddamns though - it got repetitive...

(I prefer first person, mainly because dialogue is less of a pain to write. I'm writing a series in third person at the minute which lets me go all in on detail, but keeps tripping me up when it comes to dialogue/moving the character around without repeating the same phrases over and over... Just think of it as a challenge, if it helps.)

(One letter off! Twas what first grabbed me about the name when I saw it. You're right though, sounds a little like him, but Becky wouldn't have saved someone from drowning if his ship was floating off without him! XD) I'm going through a period of obsessing over several Australian comedians and characters which explains my brain's desire for Lind to be an Aussie. No, he reads neutrally, which is why the unintentional attempts to 'read' his speech/thoughts with an Australian accent was so annoying! Ugh, I'll re-read later on, when my obsessions have died down a little, hopefully I won't try and force an accent on the poor man... XD

As for the pic, it isn't crappy! Don't know if you're familiar with the anime show "One Piece" but your pic reminds me of an older, rougher version of Luffy (fits too, as he sails on the sea - although Luffy is a pirate, rather than a fisherman). That said, he doesn't look Australian. Just looks... normal, so to speak! ^_^
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:iconharmony283:
Harmony283 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Yeah that's what I"m planning on doing (since I wasn't sure what I wanted for his character just yet. Though the first person version I had...ahah...no. Just. NO.) I'm keeping in the bleeted out words though, since that's part of his character XD (I just have more description so it lessens the...impact) -nod, nod-

(Well the thing is, I already got past it and I find 3rd person boring as heck XD So it's not that I can't do it, it's just every fiber of my being tells me it's too 'cold'. If that makes any sense) I might end up doing some scenes in first though (once I get the basics of the characters down and such)

(That and Linebeck can't swim.) There're also a few other differences (like his perchance to severely dislike authority, and not give a crap. Also his need to protect kids, though it depends on what you read about Linebeck -since she herself can sort of see him as an overprotective adult figure) Though Lind is an extreme version of this. Also you almost never hear his last name. XD

Yeah re-reading it later might help XD

It's funny--One Piece is where I got the reference for the hat XD (I'm also attempting to read it now. I'm past the 270 chapter mark, but it's starting to bore me ^^; ) The only thing is, he doesn't spazz about losing his hat like Luffy does. And he's got a whole collection of 'em at his house XD

That and also I can't imagine an Australian with auburn hair (That might just be me?)

Though Iezzi might fit the "italian' origins of his name a bit better (Oh, Lind's is mostly Swedish, btw) since he has black hair and tanned skin.

Oh but what's hilarious is...my character Lofquist. I've got 4 people drawing the characters for this (all of them offered) and IMMEDIATELY the first person they want to draw is Lofquist. I find it highly amusing XD (All things considering y'don't know squat about him -laughs-) Oh, but he's a duke that gets dragged into things. If that helps -laughs again- (oh and Lofquist -in case you're wondering- means Leaf Twig)
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:iconlunahara:
LunaHara Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2009
The **** words are fine, they're no big deal at all (it does help to give the reader a sense of his character - in my opinion at least).

(I get what you mean. It seems too impersonal, too distant...) Mixing the styles could be interesting! Just make sure you don't bounce between them too much - tried it, got confusing very fast. Not good!

Sounds like he'll be a very interesting character then! There is rarely much need for surnames when you're writing, except for formalities (or if they're in a position of power - still nice to known them at first.

I'll try re-reading it tomorrow!

Really? Well it shows! XD (Never read the manga. Keep meaning to read it, but I can't afford at the minute...!) Wow, a collection? Luffy would be impressed! XD

I can, sorta. Does seem unusual though.

Cool. Seems like the characters all have their origins in different places!

Well, with a name like that, even I'd offer to draw him first! Might not know a damn thing about him, but with a name like Lofquist, he's gotta be an interesting character both in terms of looks and personality! Sounds quite a cool character from what you've said. (Does it fit his personality in some way, I wonder...?)
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:iconharmony283:
Harmony283 Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
-laughs- though if you saw the edit in the artists comments, some people didn't get the bleeping out XD So I'll definitely make sure to put that in BOLD or something when I get the first chapter (officially) completed XD

(mhm yeah...I mean, I had to work with it in Creative Writing near constantly with some stuff people gave me -we had to work with other people's stories sometimes- And just. Yeah)
Don't worry, I'll probably either use 1st for certain situations where I DON'T want people to know others thoughts (or where I want to sway the readers to look at it through someone elses POV) either that or it's a last ditch option XD (since that's perfectly allowed, apparently) but for major descriptions...like entering a new town or something, 3rd'll do nicely...

Mhm and since Lind is on the bottom rung of the ladder (so to speak. If you've seen the map with info on classes...it's apparent ^^; ) it's almost used as an insult, but he doesn't really care by the time he talks to anyone with any sort of authoritative rank XD (though of course, in Lofquist's case--it's reversed. Voss is his first name, but he hates it XD)

Okay ^^

(It's actually hilarious how--the style of hat I wanted him to have was like Luffy's but when you type in straw hat on Google--you get so many variations and NOT the one I'm looking for XD) he probably would be -laughs- (oh also I read it on OneManga.com, if that helps with the reading issues)

Mhm. I made it a point for him to be slightly unusual (auburn hair with tanned skin) but it suits him (and he's not like DARK tan or anything...)

yup, I could give you the whole list of their names and their origins XD (since I had to list them out so I wouldn't forget) only if you want though. It's quite interesting XD (and took a crapload of research too. Like for Lindbeck. and for Lofquist. x.x)

Well...since it means Leaf Twig (and he's the highest Duke ranking--duke of Elms) he has an earthy-tone to him (or...colorscheme) I picture him with blond hair (with slightly green tints to it) and...well, it doesn't help he always uses his last name (which is Lofquist. First is Voss which means Fox) but he's VERY tall and tends to stick out. He's also one of the more blunt characters (despite his ranking. Though he DOES have a fairly good share of charisma. He just chooses not to use it) he's the 3rd character you actually meet, and he's on vacation XD So far I've got like 3 versions of him drawn. One has long hair in a ponytail, the other he has short hair, mine he also has short hair with a small braid...um...and basically the only thing that's ALIKE about all of them is he has longer bangs over the left side of his forehead -to hide a scar-

That's basically all I came up with him so far (besides the fact that he was half-way pushed into his position by his father's sudden death out at sea) and...hmm, he's also relatively young (early 20's) but not overly young.

I also wrote a poem/lullaby that represents him (or a story that's...around his family's origins, sorta) there's a link to it on my journal if you wanna read it ^^
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:iconlunahara:
LunaHara Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2009
What isn't to get about the bleeping out? Makes sense to me... Even if it is a little odd! XD

So you'll have bits that act like soliloques? That sounds interesting. The plan sounds good so far to me. Yup, 3rd allows a wealth for a lot of description... Very useful.

So it is an insult to refer to people by their first name only, in their world...? (Yeah, I'd hate being called Voss too! Especially with a surname as cool as 'Lofquist'! XD)

(Really? I didn't imagine there would be that many styles of straw hat to be honest! But hey, variation is meant to be good, so...!) Let's face it - Luffy would be in awe of his collection. But he still wouldn't part with his own hat. (Ooo, thanks for that! Now I can catch up with a few manga I've abandoned as well as reading One Piece...)

You'd expect someone working at sea to pick up a tan, even a light one, so that works pretty well.

The geek in me approves of and agrees to your offer. Details, I love the details...! :D

Wow, seems like everything about Lofquist fits both his name and his personality (from what I know of it anyway). He also sounds like a really interesting (and fun to write) character! Look forward to reading his introduction...! The pics sound good too. Linked to in your journal?

I shall read it indeed! Well, maybe after I sit through the quiz again (just recalled another OC that could use some work... might not do the quiz now though). But yes, I'll read it soon. ^^
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:iconharmony283:
Harmony283 Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Well because of what I originally had, I guess. That and people take different views on cussing (some people don't mind it. others mind it even if it's bleeped out)

Right now I sent the 3rd person starting of Chapter One to someone, and they said it seemed a bit slow (because it has more description than the preview) but that it was nice in comparison (like I did the description well). I'm nowhere near done with it, and it'll speed up once he falls in the ocean and gets Iezzi out. -to mimic the panicking he's going through- it also has less talking in it (since someone else pointed out how that might seem a bit off. I agreed)

yeah basically. Also I'm going to try my hand at doing Lofquist in 1st person. Just to see how he turns out. (that and I can see him in 1st better than in 3rd...I have no clue why though). And Gil is most likely going to be stuck in 3rd because of the fact he's near-half insane XD

Well it CAN be. Depending on your rank and your relationship with the other person. (Like most lower ranked people don't really care if you're the same rank and call them by their name--but if a higher ranked person calls you by your name, and you don't know them, then it shows you your place)

Though some characters (like Quite Runion) WILL call you by your first name--but it's because they DO want to be friendly. (another example also: Lofquist's Aunt. She's the same rank as Lofquist, and she adores calling him Voss, but he cuts her off. Every. Single. Time. because he dislikes his name that much. And normally calling someone by their name when you're the same rank is Okay -as said above-)

Aha well Luffy's hat is a priceless treasure so I'm sure he wouldn't think much of other hats (especially if they're thrown away so easily/aren't treasures) he might get onto Lind for not taking care of them. I dunno. (And you're welcome XD OneManga is a very good site -nod, nod- So's MangaFox but that site gives my computer viruses due to adds So I'd be careful of that one)

-hums- well I've got the quizzes filled out for Lofquist and Gil...and I'm about to do it for Quite Runion and Hans so...I guess...you want the names of the oceans (I can send it via a note) since I think that's the only main thing I gave names to that you might wanna know the meanings too -nod, nod-

Aha well you'll figure out a bit more about him via his answers for his quiz XD Yup they're linked in my OLD journal now though (and I'm about to upload another journal too, with Lofquist and Gil in 'em) -cackles- -coughs-

okies ^^ (again it's in my OLD journal now, obviously)
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:iconxdemyxwonderx:
xDemyxWonderx Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Oooooh, nice job! ^^ Very well written. :D You should definitely finish it.
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:iconharmony283:
Harmony283 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you~ Yeah right now I've...at least got the lullaby down that I want to have in the beginning (I have it as a link in my journal if you wanna read it ^^) I'm definitely planning to XD Since I've got how many people designing at least on character (or however they think they look like)? It'd be a real shame to let that go as well XD
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:iconxdemyxwonderx:
xDemyxWonderx Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! ^^ I'll definitely keep reading.
(Sorry for the late reply XD)
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:iconharmony283:
Harmony283 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
-smiles- That's good~ (I'm stiiiill working on the first chapter -laughs- though I expected it to take a while)

It's fine, I can't even view most of my comments right now -laughs- so it's probably good your comment's late XD
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:iconkomadori-kitsune:
komadori-kitsune Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2009
Yay! :D Here's my review~

Interesting! This sounds good so far! It makes me wonder what will happen. You so need to continue this! (I saw you use the wrong 'its' but that's okay, since this is just a preview) Beck has an...interesting personality, even in the preview!

Write more, please! :dummy:
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:iconharmony283:
Harmony283 Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you~

-laughs- thank you~ and I AM planning to (check out my journal, I have at least the poem/lullaby that's in the beginning uploaded on my other account) and yeah...it's and its...-shakes head- my Microsoft Word HATES those (literally. It'll switch back and forth) but y'know what's sadder? I originally uploaded/typed this up on livejournal. Then I copied over here. And. Just. Yeah. Only bad thing about writing at night--ERRORS. Really blatantly misspelled words XD I'm glad I caught all of 'em XD

And he goes by Lind, not Beck (most people call him Lind anyway, his last name is rarely brought up)

I will, I will~~ don't worry~~
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:iconkitten5306:
kitten5306 Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2009
OMG! if you dont finish this story, i'll hunt you down- and- make you write,uh... more... WORDS! Yeah, and Lots of em'! LOL

This is excellent! :D I hope you continue this, its really suspenseful to me when i cant visualize what the characters look like. Whats with "HUMAN?!" being used like an alien term? And who's the mystery Boy? (wiggle~waggle) lol im kiddin'

Anyway this is great, hope you update soon, ill have something to look foward to when i go on dA!
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:iconharmony283:
Harmony283 Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
XD -laughs- Don't worry I'm planning on continuing it (so you'd better be on the look out for updates~) I think I'm going to start it a bit differently (to add more mystery) and then fix up a few things, but--yeah I'm very glad you like it! :hug:

Aha well if you look at the map I gave a link to, I at least have what their NAMES are.

(oh here's a crappily drawn pic of Lind: [link]
And this is one version of Lofquist: [link] (FULL VIEW, he's the guy in the middle) -you'll meet him later- and another version: [link] ) I'm actually letting people draw what they THINK they look like XD So you might have to wait a while for Iezzi (but I have a description of him, if you wanna try visualizing him from that?) -he's the boy btw-

Ah yeah 'human', I use that basically because, well there ARE other races, but just to avoid giving a gender XD (I may change it to person though -since someone else pointed that out too-)

aha well that makes me very happy then XD And means I better get to workin' on spoofing up this so it's presentable as a chapter~~
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:iconkitten5306:
kitten5306 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2009
LoL, Lind looks like someone who would have an attitude at the world and argue with the sky =p Lofquist looks like a sly little bugger XD Oh really? then ill post a picture of what i think he looks like when i get the chance :)

I kinda knew there would be other races, especially when he said "A Human?!" instead of saying a boy or girl. Yay for different races!!

Yay!
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:iconharmony283:
Harmony283 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
XD Well that's good~ Very good~ (but then he also has this code of honor...to never hurt a child -someone younger than 18- which might seem a bit odd at first, but it fits) Hum, well (you're talking about Lofquist right? Or Lind?) because I've got better descriptions that might help you ^^

Yup, though the main other race is...Octopi (a humanoid with various octopus-like features that lives in the deep trenches). So it actually makes sense he'd say "A human?" especially out in the middle of an ocean XD

^^
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:iconkitten5306:
kitten5306 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2009
Im talkin about Lofquist :D I'd finally have something to do :)

Ah, that would explain the octopus tattoo on his left shoulder ;o; Lol, an octopus that fishes...hehe lol "Why cant i get a fish?! Oh thats right, they're scared of me... :'( "
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:iconharmony283:
Harmony283 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Okay ^^ Well I'll send you his full description in a note then~ (plus of course, you've got the reference pics too)

YES IT WOULD -smiles- You got that without me telling you XD But it does have something to do with them. I'm still getting the ideas formed so I can't say much about it now (because then I'd probably change it) though I'm happy with the idea~~
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:iconkitten5306:
kitten5306 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2009
Yay!

I feel special, I actually caught something tiny like that :'D

Thankies for teh watch!!
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:iconharmony283:
Harmony283 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
And I sent it~ (Also if you want to do any other characters I can send you the rest of the descriptions ^^)

-laughs- well I think of it as a very good thing (since I mean, I'm sure a character will point it out at some point -probably Lofquist, actually- but it might not get explained to later)

You're welcome. It's funny though since I thought I was watching you before (when we first started talking) but...dA apparently screwed up and I'm not watching a few people that I USED TO watch (since it didn't just happen with you, it happened with someone else as well. It's confusing)
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(1 Reply)
:iconlyurii:
Lyurii Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2009
Ahhh, I can't wait to read the whole chapter~ <3
So far, it's really good! I mean, this guy's swearing is a little excessive, but that kinda gives him personality, y'know?~

...Oh, but, was there a character POV switch, somewhere in here? I couldn't really tell, and it confused me a little~
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:iconharmony283:
Harmony283 Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
XD I'm glad you like it that much.

Oh! Oh! -and yes she LOVES explaining this everytime- he actually SAYS IT like "fasteriskck" -he doesn't believe in cursing, especially around children- It'll be a running gag eventually XD (And I'm really thinking I should've put that in the artist's comments XD -will do that-)

No it's constantly in 3rd person ^^ (I blame not using 3rd person for a while since I really DON'T like 3rd person, but it's needed for this fic, or at least the beginning).

(and thank you for commenting~~)
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:iconlyurii:
Lyurii Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2009
XD Fasteriskck~ XD ohgawd- I actually laughed out loud at that~ XDDD

Ah, nope, that's not what confused me~ It was those darned pronouns~ So, I was like, "Wait, which he is he? HE? Heeeeeeee~ @____@" Kinda. Methinks. It's easier to get the second runthrough, though~
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:iconharmony283:
Harmony283 Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
SEE? SEE? His character might seem a bit sour and everything, but everyone just stops and STARES at him when he says it that way XD (it's meant for humor) though the one who points it OUT is Lofquist XD -if you want some art of him, she has two pics ALREADY- -which makes her insanely happy, oh yes-

Ah, okay. Well that's part of the reason I stick 'human' in there (to avoid giving the boy a pronoun just yet. Since yeah in 3rd person that IS confusing XD)
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:iconlyurii:
Lyurii Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2009
Ah, I'd be more than happy to draw him~! <3 I have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do right now~ ...Aside from lie around like a baked potato, that is~ ...And summer homework, but that can be put off until August~!

Ah, but I'd need a bit of a description~ :3
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:iconharmony283:
Harmony283 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Well you can also draw any of the other character's you want to. I'll just send you a note with their brief descriptions and such. Oh and the links (to Lofquist) are in my edited journal~
(but I WOULD love it if you did sketch them or what-not--I always find it really amusing to see how people interpret my descriptions XD)

and the note is on it's way~
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:iconlyurii:
Lyurii Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2009
Awesome~ I already have Photoshop out, and my tablet is ready to go~! ^-^
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:iconharmony283:
Harmony283 Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
YAY~:heart: :hug: (it's fun. Really. I'm so happy people wanna draw the characters -sobcry of happiness here-) When you're done (and hopefully I'll SEE the pics -if you upload them- and they won't be buried) I'll link them in my journal

and now I really have to come up with suitable bio's for each character XD I think I might just do them in a new journal or something -laughs-
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(1 Reply)
:iconladycolettethechosen:
LadyColetteTheChosen Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2009
Very interesting. ^^
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:iconharmony283:
Harmony283 Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
-smiles- glad you think so~ (btw did you get the email? -because she hasn't gotten a reply back, and hotmail tends to be bad about sending stuff-) or at least lately it has been (especially to a friend who has PROM pictures that I need soon T^T)
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:iconladycolettethechosen:
LadyColetteTheChosen Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2009
Oops... I haven'tt been to my emaail in a while (I knew I needed on there! I just couldn't remember why and never got on...
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:iconharmony283:
Harmony283 Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
XD Forgetful much? -laughs- (it's fine just I get weirded out when people don't reply back after a day or two, especially when they asked me to send something)
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:iconladycolettethechosen:
LadyColetteTheChosen Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2009
Sorry... (oh... Sorry... )
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:iconharmony283:
Harmony283 Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
I said it was fine ^^; (just...blame it on hotmail making me insecure. I swear I've sent like 5 emails to a friend of mine for Prom pictures...all of them have either 'not sent' or she either didn't see them, OR they got sent right back to me)
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:iconladycolettethechosen:
LadyColetteTheChosen Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2009
Ok...
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:iconnestalia:
Nestalia Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2009  Hobbyist General Artist
Awsome!!You have to continue it!^_^
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:iconharmony283:
Harmony283 Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Ahah I'm glad you liked it~ (and thank you for commenting~)

Munya, munya I have a feeling this is gonna be a lot of fun XD
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:iconneeds2damoar:
needs2dAmoar Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2009
Hmm... seems interesting. You can really feel the characters personality. And you should definitely continue, you've already put in a lot of effort already, so why stop now?

Oh, also love the map 0w0
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:iconharmony283:
Harmony283 Featured By Owner Jun 17, 2009  Hobbyist Writer
Glad you think so ^^ and yeah I tried with his character since he's the main character. You have to get to know him pretty solidly in the beginning (not saying he can't change at all but...)

ahah--I actually tried working on this earlier today, but since the air conditioning's broken we've all been hiding downstairs (upstairs it's 90 and below...the air conditioning is working a bit better) and...people keep bugging me XD (either commenting on how fast I type--which is really unnerving--or sis yelling at me to help her with something on dA) doesn't do well for trying to get things finished XD
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